Bad Mama

I try so so so hard not to judge other mamas.  But this time I just couldn't help myself.  On the one hand I felt terrible for her.  On the other, I simply couldn't ignore how irresponsible she was...

Last week, we were invited to a birthday party.  It was the first birthday of the daughter of one of Hubs's classmates.  I'd never met either of the parents, but I am always up for meeting new people, especially other moms, so I was pretty excited to go!  I bought a birthday gift, wrapped it up, and dressed Bunkey in some cute new clothes he got for Christmas.

When we arrived at the house, we were greeted at the door by another guest, someone we didn't know, who didn't introduce himself.  I wasn't really sure what to think.  We walked in and no one was talking, and based on the expression on Hubs's face, neither parent was anywhere to be seen.  After a few minutes, Hubs's classmate, J, came in from the back.  He'd been grilling, so that made sense.  He mentioned that his wife was upstairs getting their daughter up from a nap and that she hadn't been feeling well and they thought C was getting her 12-month molars.  As a mother of a teething infant, I can certainly empathize, and I thought nothing of it when they mentioned their daughter had been running a mild fever throughout the day.

What a crappy way to spend your first birthday, right?

A few minutes later, however, the mother came racing down the stairs with C, said her fever was 103 and that they needed to go to the ER.  She was shaking like a leaf and didn't know what to do (this is her first child too).  Somewhere in the confusion it came up that her fever had been up and down, between 100 and 103 all day.  Not so much a mild fever.  Not for a little one anyway.  I was a little taken aback that they hadn't already called the doctor.  

Or at a minimum rescheduled the party.  But at this point, I should add, I had heard the husband no less than three times that they'd spent $150 on C's birthday cake.

Off the wife went to the ER.  Another mom drive her, since she didn't know how to get to the hospital, and really was shaking too much to drive herself anyway.  I looked at Hubs and he shrugged his shoulders.  I asked J if we should leave so he could go be with his wife and daughter.  Or at least so when they returned from the hospital they could focus on making C feel better.

He told me no, that of course everyone should stay, that it surely wasn't a big deal.  And that they'd spent $150 on this cake.

A few hours later, the mother came home with C.  I casually asked if C was ok and the mother said that she just had a little eye infection and the doctor had given her some Tylenol so she could enjoy her party.

Some more prodding (from other mothers, not me!) and whispered conversations later, and it turns out that the "little infection" was pink eye.  Pink eye is highly contagious and definitely not just a little infection.  I looked around and saw that C was playing mighty close to Bunkey, who was crawling on the floor and sampling the toys, as babies do, by gnawing on them.  C was awfully close to our diaper bag, which was also full of toys, and Bunkey's bottle.

Needless to say, I scooped Bunkey up and whispered to Hubs that C had pink eye, it's super contagious, and we should leave since it was frighteningly apparent that C's parents had no idea they were harboring a huge infection amongst lots of other kids.  I looked around and mothers were whispering to each other, dads were scooping up kids and wiping their hands and faces with anti-bacterial wipes, and some families were slipping out the door without even saying goodbye.

Meanwhile C's parents had her at the table and were ushering folks in to sing happy birthday, blow out the candles, and enjoy that $150 cake (yes, they reminded us of the cost several more times).  We, of course, were ushered as well.  And then they dove right into the presents.  It was impossible to leave.  It was clear J and his wife were either totally clueless or blatantly irresponsible.

I'm no germophobe, but I don't go out in search of diseases to which I can expose my child.  And I certainly wouldn't welcome other kids into my home knowing that I had a very sick and contagious little one!  J and his wife should have asked guests to leave.  They should have called the doctor earlier in the day and then rescheduled the party.

They should have worried more about their daughter than about what they spent on her cake.

End rant.

PS I'm sorry for being a judgy mama.  I just couldn't help myself.