Married to the Military

As you know, I've grown up military! I don't really consider this a "mil-spouse blog" but it is a part of my life, so I can't ignore it. Anyway, I was super excited when I saw this little quiz going around, so I thought I might fill it out myself!

How did you and your spouse meet?  On my first ship.  Shortly after graduation (and my own commissioning) I flew to Bahrain to meet the ship mid-way through a deployment.  Hubs was standing watch when I arrived at 4:00 am.  He remembers this; I don't.  The next day, one of the girls I shared a stateroom with invited me to go swimming at a resort with some of the guys.  These guys happened to be Hubs and one of his roommates, who happens to also now be married to that same roommate of mine.  And no, no one was dating while attached to the same command.  Hubs and I got very flirty, but we went on our first date three weeks before he transferred from the ship and then dated long distance until we got married.

How old were you when you two met?  I was 22; he was three days away from turning 27.

How long have you been together?  We met in July of 2005, started dating that Thanksgiving, got engaged St Patrick's Day 2007, and got married in April '08.  So we've known each other six and a half years, been "together" six years, and been married three and a half years.

Where are you and your spouse originally from?  I'm "from" the Marine Corps (I moved every three years growing up) but consider Virginia home since I've lived there the most.  Specifically I consider Chesapeake VA home since lived there from 2000-2011 when we moved to CA.  Hubs was born and raised in Louisville KY.

How did you feel about him joining the military?  I couldn't be more proud.  The military is the only way of life I've ever known and it runs deep through my veins.  Besides, if we hadn't both been in the Navy we'd never have met!

Where did your spouse go to Basic Training?  We're both Officers, so we don't go to Basic Training or Boot Camp.  But Hubs went to Officer Candidate School in Pensacola and I attended college (Notre Dame) on a Navy ROTC scholarship.

Has your spouse ever been deployed?  Haha.  Yes.  Four times.  And I've been deployed three times myself.

Ever been to his promotion ceremony?  Yes, the last two.  The first time we'd just started dating and he was being promoted the day he transferred from the ship.  This last time was shortly after we moved here.

How long have you been a military wife?  Military wife for three and a half years, Active Duty or Reserves myself for six, and Marine Junior (no, it's not a Marine Brat.  Army and Air Force have Brats, Navy and Marine Corps have Juniors.  Just sayin'.) my entire life.

Did you marry him before or after he joined?  After we both joined.

How did your husband propose?  I was at Surface Warfare School in Newport RI just before I deployed.  Hubs came to visit since I was there St Patrick's Day weekend.  He proposed at my favorite restaurant, The Red Parrot.

Where did you get married?  Portsmouth, VA.  He was in the middle of transferring back East after two years in Columbus OH and I was about to deploy...again.

How old were you two when you got married?  I was 25 and he was 29.

Did he wear his uniform on your wedding day?  Yes.  That was a deal breaker (kidding...sort of!).  And we had an Arch of Swords too.  Everyone in my family had them and I grew up thinking everyone had swords in their weddings!

Where are you and your spouse currently stationed?  Naval Post-Graduate School, Monterey CA.  Hubs is working on an MBA.

Do you live on base?  We live on post, in the Army's section of housing here.  The Navy has their own section, but the housing is all run by the same company contracted by DoD, so everyone is really intermingled.

How long were you married when you had to go through your first separation?  Twelve days.  Yes.  Twelve. Days.  Hubs transferred from OH to VA two weeks before our wedding and started moving his stuff into my house.  I was out to sea until a week prior to the wedding.  We got married and went on an eight-day honeymoon to Jamaica.  Three days after we got back home I went out to sea for six weeks.  While I was gone, Hubs deployed.  Then I was home for a month or two before deploying myself.  Hubs got home in November, and due to some drama, I was able to come home early, in mid-December.  The best Christmas gift was getting to spend our first Christmas together!

What is your favorite base so far?  I loved living overseas (Okinawa Japan and London) but that was as a Marine Junior.  As a Navy wife, I'm really enjoying Monterey, but I miss my family back near Norfolk too...

Does your spouse look good in his uniform?  Oh yeah!

Do you think military life is more advanced than civilian life?  I'm not sure what that means.  I do think military families have their own unique set of challenges to overcome, and sometimes civilian families don't understand that, but I'm not sure if that is what "advanced" means.

Do you like the benefits you receive as a military dependent? Yes, but I think some are unnecessary.  The Exchanges and Commissaries aren't really that much of a better deal than Target and other grocery stores, so I'm not sure why we need them within the US....overseas bases are a totally different animal though.

Do you have a lot of military wife friends?  Many.  And I love them all.  It's so nice to have a group of sisters that have your back no matter what.  But my closest friends are often women who were Active Duty themselves since they know both sides to the coin...

What is the hardest part of being a military wife?  Being a dual-mil couple was hard because one of us was always gone and our entire dating/engaged relationship was long distance.  For me, since I'm still in the Reserves and still have a Top Secret clearance, it's knowing too much.  I don't want to hear all the bad news because it makes me worry.  But I subscribe to the belief that during deployments phone calls every day are far too much.  I begin to rely on them too much.  I prefer a phone call once a week and on special occasions or after something scary (convoys, etc).  I told Hubs not to call me everyday because I'd sit around waiting for the phone to ring and waste my whole day when I needed to stay busy to keep my mind off of it...and that one time he couldn't call for whatever reason?  Well, if you're used to a call every day, you'll have a major freak out when he doesn't...  But that is just us!

Do you own any military wife stuff?  No.  There is nothing I find more obnoxious than the wives who wear their husbands ranks and positions in the form of insignia and designator pins on necklaces or earrings.  And stickers all over cars?  Well, that is just an advertisement waiting to go wrong, in my opinion.  Base decals make it obvious enough without extra embellishments.

Do you support your spouse as a member of the military?  Of course!  Like I said, I don't know any other life and everyone in my family (males anyway; I'm the first woman) is/was in the military.  I couldn't be prouder!