It's so refreshing when someone just listens to you and doesn't automatically chime in with their two cents, what-they-would-do-if-it-were-them, or why my plan is wrong! Let me explain:
Yesterday I went to my fabulous doctor for my annual exam. Secretly, I was hoping to find out that I was pregnant, but honestly, I was trying to keep myself from being disappointed since these things can take a little while...and let's face it, we only just started trying! So, when the nurse said apologetically, "Nothing yet," I reminded myself that it was still a little early to be testing anyway. She left me to wait for the doctor, garbed in a lovely pink paper "gown" and covered with a similar pink paper "blanket". I couldn't help but stare at the little tester stick sitting (on a paper towel) on the counter, kinda sorta hoping that a second line would appear.
When my doctor came in, harried and even a little frazzled, I was sure that my appointment wasn't going to go well. She was behind and needed to catch up with her patients. I'm so glad I was wrong (I told you she was fabulous)! Dr Lee greeted me with, "I'm so sorry you've been waiting; it seems everyone has problems today!" After assuring her that I didn't have any problems, she consulted my chart, then looked directly at me and said, "So you're not using any birth control. Does that mean that you need a new prescription," and then her face softened to a motherly happiness and hopeful grin, "or does that mean we're trying?" I was instantly relaxed.
It seems that lately, everyone has their own opinions. Everyone tells me what's best, even when I haven't revealed that we're trying to start a family. It makes it stressful and lends the feeling of trying to please people. Like winning a race or getting good grades. Dr Lee put me at ease. She told me what I needed to hear, what many people have told me, but something I still needed reassurance over (does everyone go through this?): Dr Lee told me to take everyone else's comments and opinions and shove it up their you-know-what's. She reminded me to have fun, and ignore books, pee sticks, and self-imposed timelines for a few months. She told me that the moment I start to get frustrated, I should come see her, but that she was confident I'd be calling within six months to schedule my first OB appointment. She spoke to me more as a motherly figure and friend than as a doctor. She didn't use medical jargon, and she didn't speak to me from the foot of the table, while she examined me. Despite her busy day and full schedule, she spoke directly to me and took the time to put me at ease.
And that, my lovely readers, is why I love my Gynecologist!
Good! You NEED a good one - a rotten one can ruin the whole experience. And you're right, my friend - EVERYONE has an opinion - from this moment of your life onward, you will be judged, people will opine about every move you make - secretly and to your face. It will be hard. But you just have to do what's best for you and for YOUR family. There are times I've had to remind my best friend, my mother about that. There are times I've had to tell my HUSBAND that. Parenthood, for as much as it's supposed to be about your family, is one of the most highly scrutinized and highly criticized things we as humans do... because other humans are just snarky. From the snobby ladies who raise their eyebrow when you sport a belly and carry your Starbucks cup around (she shouldn't be drinking coffee! gasp!) to the childless folks at Target who can't believe your child is crying in a store and know that you as a mother should be able to do something to shut him up (he had fallen and bonked his head on a shelf, but they don't know that) you will always be under a magnifying glass and you DO NOT HAVE TO ANSWER TO ANYONE. Ever. And she's also right about relaxing. Stress and worry has an adverse impact on conception. Don't worry about skipping nights to ensure proper swimmer count, don't worry about what your temperature is - just enjoy each time you're together because it will NEVER be the same once you're a mom and dad pair. I mean, it's not automatically going to be BAD, but there's just something different about intimacy after kids... from the moment of conception onward... you don't get this time of your lives back. So enjoy it. Put your faith in God - and in your body. You'll need both from this point forward now more than you'd ever have imagined. You need to trust in that.
ReplyDeleteGood luck - many prayers sent up for ya!
Thanks Melis!! She really is awesome. Secretly, I never want to move from here simply because I don't want to find a new doctor!! I only started going to her when I separated from Active Duty last summer (you may remember I adamantly told P I REFUSED to deal with TRICARE clinics and "helplines" anymore!) so this was only my second visit with her, but I love her. It's very strange, but I was very much looking FORWARD to my appointment because Dr Lee is so easy to talk to!!! Yes, I know that is a weird thing to say when you're going to get a PAP!! :-)
ReplyDeleteThat's great!! She's so right too. A relationship has enough stress without "urgency to be pregnant" stress. Besides, people who rush into fertility treatments are the same people who end up having quintuplets:) It'll happen when it happens and like she said, the minute you start to feel worried you'll go see her again.
ReplyDeleteYeah....we're young and healthy with no family history of problems, so fertility treatment is SO far from our minds right now...but I love that she strives to PREVENT frustrations and that, IF that becomes an issue, she'll see me and we can go from there, making treatment the absolute LAST resort!
ReplyDeleteThat is great that she said those things and made you feel reassured. And I am excited that you are starting in on this adventure!
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