It Happens in Threes....

....bad luck, that is. So I'm waiting for Number 3.

Before you start reading this, I am not racist. I understand that there are a myriad of nationalities residing within the boundaries of my beloved United States. And I like that. I've lived on three continents, deployed three times, and enjoy learning about new cultures. But because of those deployments, and serving in the military, and knowing what is going on over there, and sending my husband off to war zones.... Well, let's just say I understand the way my grandfather felt about some Asian nationalities after serving in Okinawa and Saipan during World War II... So no, I'm not racist, and I don't judge people based on whatever group they belong to based on race, religion, nationality, or any other category. But right now, I am frustrated. So please do not take the following two stories the wrong way...

Number 1:

I bought this house three years ago. The carpets have not been professionally cleaned since, and while I'm not a slob, I haven't been the most careful about living "Japanese Style" (ya know, "Take off your shoes and stay a while"?). Imagine my surprise, then, when I received a ValPak (the coupons that come once a month with local vendors offering deals) that advertised a professional carpet cleaner who would clean my entire home for just $90 (to compare, Stanley Steamer charges $140 for four rooms; my house is the equivalent of seven rooms). I immediately called the number listed and scheduled an appointment for the following week (which was last week). I verified that "entire house" included my stairs and moving the furniture in order to clean the entire house. Satisfied, I was told that the technician would call me when he was 30 minutes from my house, and I gave my address. My complete address. To include in which of the Seven Cities I reside. And the nearest cross street, since my neighborhood is relatively new and I know most online maps/GPS systems don't recognize my street.

On the day of the appointment, around 8:30, I get a phone call saying that the technician is on his way and will arrive in 25 minutes. At 10:00 (90 minutes later, not 25) he shows up, stating, "Sorry, I was in Virginia Beach." "Why?" I reply; "I live in Suffolk!" Clearly. Since that's where you are right now. "Oops, the office gave me the wrong address." Then why didn't you call for clarification? Or were my city and nearest cross-street not enough? So I get past that and show the technician (who I later learn is York, from Uzbekistan) the areas to be cleaned. To which he tells me stairs will be an extra $40, paying with credit card will be a 5% increase, and no, he will not move the furniture because I have too much. When I tell him that his office assured me that those items were in fact included, he got belligerent and exclaimed that I needed to "LISTEN!" to him several times.

WHAT?!?!

I'm sorry. I don't care that I have more than five stairs and that is why it's extra (who has only five stairs in their two story home??). I don't care that you're only one person and might have to move a couch and coffee table. It's not that heavy. I've moved it before. And no, I really do not care that in your culture women don't talk back to men. I will not have anyone come into my house, refuse to complete a service for which I have already confirmed and contracted, and then tell me to listen to them. In short, I read York from Uzbekistan the riot act. For those of you who know me, go ahead and let your imagination run wild; it's probably an accurate picture of what happened.

Then I told York from Uzbekistan that I no longer required his "service" and that I wanted him out of my house. Right. Now. And no, I don't care that you got lost in Virginia Beach. No, it's not my problem your office gave you the wrong address. It's also not my problem that your office quoted me a price that you disagree with; that is what was agreed upon. No, it's also not my problem that you advertise "no hidden fees" and "credit cards accepted" and then tell me I have to pay extra to use said card. I'm. Not. Paying. So just leave.

Well, York from Uzbekistan must have really needed a paycheck that weekend because as I was just about to slam the door in his face, he told me he'd do the entire house and the stairs and move all the furniture for the originally agreed upon $90. Oh, and tack on the special chemicals for the stains on my family room floor. For free. But only if I promised not to complain to his boss.

Well, sorry York from Uzbekistan, but I've already contacted your company, ValPak National, and ValPak Regional. I hope you have some Worry Beads to twirl. You'll need them.

Number 2:

My dad got Patrick and me tickets to a Naval Academy football game in the near future. In order to tailgate in Annapolis, we decided to get a hotel room so we could spend the night after the game. Well, given that the game is in the near future, getting a hotel for a reasonable price was just about impossible. But after searching online for hours, we finally found a vacancy at The Village Inn, a mere 5 miles from the stadium. Not the Ritz, but a bed and a shower; it'll be ok. After all, this is not our honeymoon! We booked the room via Orbitz and celebrated that we actually had a room, because my dad, the Naval Academy alum, wasn't even able to score a room from the block of rooms reserved for his Class-of-a-Really-Long-Time-Ago buddies who were celebrating a milestone anniversary!

Well, after we called my parents and told them our good luck, my dad looked up the place and said, "Yeah, your mom would not agree to stay there, and quite frankly, I'm surprised you would!" I got kind of nervous and started looking at some of the reviews, looking for a company website (not the Orbitz site), and could not find anything good about this place. In fact, I read several reviews about guests getting mystery rashes all over their bodies rather than chocolates on their pillows.

I decided I needed to come up with Plan B. As luck would have it, I found a reasonably priced room with free breakfast, within 3 miles of the Academy, at a chain where my folks stayed when they visited me in college. Score! I made the reservation and then called the Village Inn to cancel the original reservation. I was told by a gruff some-sort-of-foreign man that I'd have to call back after 8:00 (it was around 6:30 a.m.). OK, so I had a break between my two classes this morning and would call then.

When I called back, the same man, who I've now determined sounded a lot like Apu from The Simpsons, told me that since I made the reservation online, I'd have to call the 800-number for the website and cancel through them. First of all, why did I have to wait an hour and a half for you to tell me that? And secondly, call Orbitz? WTF? I don't even think they have a number! So I look up the number for Orbitz (yes, they have one) and tell them I want to cancel the reservation. They tell me I'll have to pay $25. You should know that that amounts to 33% of the price of the room in the first place, and I am not in the habit of paying 33% for a service I didn't receive. So Orbitz Man tells me that I can call the hotel and cancel without paying a fee. And I call Apu back. And he starts yelling at me that he cannot help me and keeps yelling, "I told you before! I can't help you! Do you hear me?!" So I call Orbitz back. And demand to speak with a supervisor. And I explain the situation again. Yes, I understand that Orbitz has a policy to charge $25 for cancellations. Yes, I understand that I can call the hotel and they should be able to help me out for free. But no, they actually will not help me. Yes, I've traveled with Orbitz before and have been happy with their service. But no, I'll never use that service again because it doesn't afford me flexibility or sanitary traveling accommodations. No, I don't consider bed bugs sanitary. And finally, yes, I would appreciate it if you'd offer me a waiver of the cancellation fee. Yes, I understand that it's only this one time. Yes, I agree that Orbitz is much more helpful than Apu; he obviously hasn't twirled his worry beads today.

And no, I don't want you to make me any more reservations. Ever. I'll call the hotels directly, thank you.

OK, so I've learned an important lesson from both of the above stories: If the company does not have their own website, they are probably not reputable, don't have a functioning customer service department, and I shouldn't trust them. In the future, I will always do more research before scheduling repair or hospitality services.

So no, I am not racist, nor do I harbor some sort of dislike for individuals of Middle Eastern decent. There are lots of wonderful Middle Eastern folks in this world. Classmates of mine from high school and college, the friendly contractors who gave my husband yummy Iraqi lamb while he was deployed so he wouldn't have to eat in the Mess Hall every night, vendors who shipped beautiful rugs and trunks home for me when I was deployed in Bahrain, and tons more. But right now I am frustrated with Middle Easterners and their (seeming) lack of customer service. In America, we have a certain standard for hospitality, making things right, and treating the customer like a king (or queen). And the past two weeks, I haven't felt that. And the way I've been treated by a few people lately has not helped me get over the uneasy feeling I still have when a plane flies over my head. When I travel, I try to learn the ways of that culture in order to appear polite in their country; I only wish others would do the same in mine.